Messed Up Already

Oh my, I am such a SCHMUCK!

First day of Lent and messed up already...

I promised you I'd spend 30 whole minutes reading and reflecting... and the day is done and I didn't get there..


"Why didn't you get there?"

Well, I planned to get up early and give you that time... but the clock didn't go off early like I am SURE I set it for... and I had to get up and get the coffee going for my husband.  I started to read while he was in the shower.. but then he couldn't find his socks.. and I had to go find some.

By the time I get him out the door, the dog was whining to go out..

"I remember that....you told me you were worrying about rain... but I took care of it"

Yes, you sure did.. I remember asking you about it... well then, we got back home and I settled down again with my Bible... and my kids started waking up.. and the day began!  Breakfast and laundry and lunches to prepare... we had to leave in an hour.. so really quick, I went to my computer and downloaded the section of the Bible I wanted to read to my E-reader so I could take it with me.

"Good idea!"

...but I am such a SCHMUCK!  I never got back to the computer to get the reader... it stayed home.... but you know that already...

"Are you kidding?  You talked AT me about that for a good 10 minutes!"

that's right... probably a rant.. sorry about that... I told you, I am a SCHMUCK!  But anyway you are right, I fussed until I saw the accident..

"and.... you asked me to take care of the people involved.  I liked the bit about taking care of the rescue workers, too."

Oh yeah - well I do that a lot... but the day kept moving on.. just like that.  I had some errands to run..

"picking up supplies for your VBS meeting on Sunday.... you weren't planning on getting reimbursed for that, were you??"

No, of course not.... not this time, you already know that... it's part of my tithe.  And then there was my son's class to go to and the cleaning to be picked up.. but I had a plan.  I was gonna grab those 30 minutes just as soon as I got home.  Oh, I am such a SCHMUCK!

"So what happened?"

Well.... the cats tore up a plant and I had to clean that up... 3 messages on the phone I had to rescue for my husband and then I needed to forward those... putting away the groceries... and then my son wanted to tell me about his day.. so I sat and had a cup of tea with him.... by the time I got back to my 30 minutes... my husband got home from work...  I am such a SCHMUCK!

"So what I am hearing is that you couldn't give me 30 minutes because you were busy taking care of my children?"

No, MY children and my husband.... just normal everyday stuff.... you got pushed aside for normal everyday stuff.... I am such a SCHMUCK!

"I wish you would quit doing that"

Doing what?

"Calling yourself names.... you are my child and it hurts me when you call yourself names.  And, by the way, the people you take care of... are NOT your children.. they are mine.  I entrusted them to you and you are doing just fine with them.  Thank you for that."

For what?  Finding missing socks and cooking breakfast?  Come on, any normal person ought to be able to find 30 minutes to read their Bible and be with you.

"Get over it.... you are doing exactly what I need for you to do.  Do you realize how long THIS particular conversation has taken?  You have been talking TO me and AT me all day long.... MUCH longer than 30 minutes.  I LOVE that you want to give me some uninterrupted time... but you have done what I asked you to do today.  

Now be quiet and go to sleep.  Let me hold you and take care of you now.  You gave me your day.  Now let me help you get ready for the next one.  We'll try again tomorrow."