Friday, March 25, 2011

Are You Out There, God?

God, I am really in a weird place right now.   I am busy.... so busy I can hardly hear myself think.  My head is a rolling list of things that need to be done... things to do right now, things I have put off doing that are becoming more important, things I want to do but can't figure out the time for... and talking to you is one of those things.

....hmmm...

I mean, I am sitting here thinking about how I need to talk to you... and I want to hear what you have to say.... oops, the dog is at the door... brb

Okay - I'm back.. sorry about that. The dog wanted out and I had to walk her.  It was COLD out there but the sun was rising so maybe it will warm up later.  Man, those birds were noisy this morning too!  Anyway... that's done - and I went ahead and got some breakfast and put the laundry on while I was at it.  Now..... <deep breath>    I'm back.

And I have to tell you.... I am really in a dry spell lately.  I don't understand why You aren't speaking to me.  I mean, I am so overwhelmed right now and I could sure use your voice!  Things are nuts!  That reminds me - I am behind on my Lenten readings.  I'd better go see what the assignment is..

I'll be back in a minute.

Sorry - got sidetracked.  I have 4 essays to write about your kingdom and I can't wrap my head around it.  I keep staring at the assignment and the words won't come!  I sure wish you would tell me what to write!  You are just so quiet right now... and I need answers!

....hmmm....

Phone ringing... brb...

That was a friend of mine... she said she was just thinking about me and wanted to check in and see how I am.  Nice, I know.... but I have things to do.

Man, my son is up and I need to go say good morning.  I have some errands to run too so it'll be a bit before I'll be back.... I'm listening though.... I'm ready to hear from you.  I wish you would speak up.  I know you are there!

...yes, I am here....

Okay - back - what a LONG day! I just don't get it... my mind is rolling around so much!  You know all the stuff that is on it!  The anger about that personal situation that I can't figure out what to do with... my friend who is going to have surgery next week... how we are going to get the taxes handled... well, you already know how confused and upset I am right now!  Why can't you just tell me what to do?  I know you are there.  Why are you ignoring me?  You could at least tell me how handle this stuff so I can be more useful to you!

Enough already!  Didn't you hear me when you saw that sunrise this morning?  I even had the birds put on a concert for you!   And what about that phone call from your friend?  You haven't heard from her in a long time and I prompted her to call you.  I thought it would make you feel better.   Your son woke up in a good mood.   The weather was good for your errand-running.  The jelly you've been looking for everywhere was right there on the shelf AND on sale!  I'm sorry the assignment about my Kingdom didn't grab hold of your attention but I've tried EVERYTHING today.

But what am I supposed to do?

You are supposed to trust me.

But I DO trust you.

Really?  Are you sure?  If that is true, then what is your problem?  Don't you think I have this under control?  RELAX!

Okay, God.  I'm sorry.  You are right again.  I am trying to take charge again, aren't I?  What is wrong with me?
 
No worries.  I made you.  I know exactly how you think.  It's okay.  Just keep talking to me.  Go to bed now and get some rest.  We'll try again tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. :) Hummmmmm sounds like you ( and God)have been recording some of my conversations with Him lately! ;)

    ReplyDelete