God, I'm scared..

Okay - so you know about this really bad thing that happened to us last week, right?

Of course I do.

And you know that we were really shocked and we are now in a lot of trouble?

Yes.

And you know that even though I keep saying.... 'things could be so much worse' .. and 'many people are much worse off than we are'... well, between you and me - you know the TRUTH... I don't really mean it.

I know who you are.

I mean - it's true...... many people are SO much worse off than we are.  We still have a roof over our heads and no one here is hungry.

I know

But you know what?

What?

I'm still scared
I'm still mad
I'm still not sure what to do next

Wellll..... I know you are mad and I know you are scared..... and I know you feel that you shouldn't feel that way.

That's right.... I shouldn't

But feelings are feelings - you can't help those.  And feelings get harder.

What do you mean?

Well... it's like anything else you do....  it's new the first time.  You don't even have time to BE scared half the time.   But the next time, you know what's coming.  And it gets harder.

I totally get THAT!  This is really scary.... and I really don't know what to do next.

Now this is where I take issue with what you say.

What?


You absolutely know what to do next.

WHAT???

I talk.  You listen.  And you know.

uhhhh... the only thing I have on my agenda is laundry and dinner... and I think I have my grandbaby next weekend.


There you go.

WHAT???

Do you trust me?

Of COURSE I do.

Then do it.

Do what?

What you said....

Laundry??

..and dinner.. and playing with your grandchild.

Really?

Katy, my dear.. that is all I ever asked you to do.  Whatever life brings... you have people who need to eat... who need clean clothes.. who need YOU and the love and life you bring to them.

Oh come on.... I need to be able to FIX this!

You can't.  This is where I come in.  YOU take care of your people....  Let ME take care of the details.

I'm supposed to TRUST you now?

Now more than ever.. just go for it.... just trust me and see what happens...

Okay...  does that mean I get some sleep now?


Hmmm..... if you can really let go and trust... yes....

I'll try.... but God?

Yes?

Will you still be there tonight if I can't sleep?

Of course... aren't I always?

Yes, I know, you really are... but I'm scared.

Scared is okay.... but I love you..... so go to sleep.

Okay..... but I'll be talking to you later.

I count on it :-)