God, it's me again...

Sometimes I wish the voices in my head would just STOP!

You need another challenge... you need to simplify your life.... you need to ask for help.... you need to stop imposing.... you need to lose weight.... you need to stop worrying about weight.... you need to help your kids.... you need to let your kids stand on their own....   yikes!  I feel like a battleground!

I am one of those voices, aren't I?

You bet!  But it's killing me... I can't figure out which one is YOU half the time!  I know that you have an opinion on every one of these choices before me.... but I can't figure out what that opinion is!


You really want me to tell you what to do?

Yes... why can't you just point the way with neon lights or something?  Like... YES to the lose weight... but NO to the worrying about it.. just eat sensibly and exercise and I'll take care of the rest..... or YES, ask for help but watch and be careful about imposing too much...

So far so good.... it doesn't sound like you need me yet...

Oh yes I do.... "just" eat sensibly?  If it was that simple, there would be no fat people on the planet!

"Be careful about imposing" would be simple too if people (your children, by the way) would tell the truth.  They lie... with all good intentions, they suck it up and keep doing for you until they get resentful and angry for being abused.  And then the original person who asked the favor... is left standing there feeling horrible because they took advantage and didn't know it was happening!

I admit, it sounds confusing...

Yes, but the thing is.. I KNOW you aren't confused.  I KNOW that you know how this is supposed to go.  Why can't you just TELL me so that I can make good decisions and not hurt people?

You are right.  I am not confused :-)  But I do love you and don't like to see you worry so much.

So... why exactly won't you help me?

I do help you.  I'm listening right now.

Ugghhhh.... I know that!  But won't you tell me what to do?

I don't need to.  You already know.

No, I don't.  I thought you said you were listening...

I AM!  You just gave me the answers.  The reason they don't work for you is that you are WORRIED about it!  You don't TRUST me.

What?

That's right.  The weight thing would sort out IF you would just trust me.  Eat good food when you are hungry and move that body of yours instead of sitting so much.  VERY simple.  The weight issue won't straighten out WHEN you STRESS about it.   

The people thing.... people are messy.  My children are just like you... worry , worry, WORRY!  They want to help.  Then they get overwhelmed like you are right now.  It's just too bad when they get to a breaking point..... but you are right... it IS their responsibility.... but it is SAD when it breaks a relationship.  YOUR job is to KNOW this and keep the relationship anyway.  I LOVE you.... YOU love them.  Simple!

I DO trust you.

Then trust yourself.  I am with you.  I am helping you make these decisions.  Just trust me and show my love to others.  It will all sort out, I promise.

ummmm.... God?

What?

I still don't know what to do.

<sigh>  Go to sleep.... I've got this for tonight.   We'll talk again tomorrow.

God?

What???

Thanks for listening.  I know that compared to tsunamis and earthquakes and civil unrest... my problems are small.  I appreciate that you care about my little stuff.

You are my child.  Your problems are important to me.  Now PLEASE go to sleep.

'night, God.