Through the Looking Glass

One of my great challenges is to keep the right frame of mind.....

what is that?

well..... it's a little like Alice in the Looking Glass.

At first glance.... a change might be sad..... say, a loss of some kind.  A loss of something that brings you security....

..and you mourn.... and you rant and rave.... and you are left with nothing in your hands...

but if you look again....

You are left with endless possibilities....
the emptiness
the nothingness

is the potential of everything!


That which you lost.... once defined you....  secured you, yes.... but by the same token...

bound you
tied you
limited you.

Because of the loss....

you are free....

to start over
to re-create your life
to re-define yourself.

Frightening... absolutely

but exhilarating in a way..

May I never grow too old and tired to accept the challenge to change!



Dear God,

   I know that you are never the cause of sadness in my life.  You are the source of ultimate joy.  To be able to look at things another way.. that is your gift to me... the gift that sustains me, changes me, grows me.  I praise you for the challenges that come my way that help me become the person you want me to be.  And I ask you for the grace and strength to meet these life situations in the way you would want me to.

Amen.

Uncertain Future

Doesn't it seem that when all hope is lost.... several new paths open up?

Thing is.... at this moment I am not sure which is worse... NO options..... or several options that need to be decided right now!

When our financial situation fell apart in January.. things looked pretty bleak.  It took a lot of faith and strength and humor to keep my family moving forward.  (not to mention ME, but we won't go there just now!)

So a few things have come along and we are managing.. for now.

But in the last couple of days... more options have opened up.. requiring even MORE fortitude.  NONE of the choices have predictable endings.  ALL of the choices need to be made soon.  We have a few days to swim around in indecision.

I have no clue even how to advise.

What I do know is this:  God always helps us sort things out if we have faith.

And, whatever the decision... AND whatever the outcome.... we will be fine.

What I WISH is that the people around me had the same faith.


Dear God,

     Like so many of your children, we are facing a very uncertain path right now.  Looking toward a future we can not predict.  Trying to plan the "future" when getting through tomorrow looks dicey.  It's difficult to have faith that all will be well. 

     Please send your healing grace to all those reading here (oh.... and to my family who isn't :-)....  I ask for clarity of mind and purpose.... the strength and wisdom to support and advise...  and the peace not to look backward once choices are made!

     All praise and glory and thanks to you!

Amen..  

Covenant of Love

Covenant (defined by Merriam-Webster): a usually formal, solemn, and binding agreement

To me, a promise..... a contract...

Willingly entered with mutual respect and understanding

Love

plays a large part in this contract - covenant

Like a marriage, it must be love

NOT fear

that makes us WANT to comply

Fear cannot be the WHY of convenant-compliance

God,

you promised that you would be my parent.

And I promised I would be your child.

Like a child.... an 'oh so rebellious' child, I cannot keep a covenant with you out of fear.  I must test the boundaries.... but I come back to your law of love.

Like a parent.... an everlasting loving parent, you cannot keep a covenant with me out of anger.  You must extend your love to keep me close.

It takes both of us to keep this covenant, day in and day out.

Thank you, God, for opening each of my days with a promise to love me!

By Myself

Woo-hoo!!  I am so excited!  Look at what I did!

I know... it's great!

I am the best!  I am the coolest!  And I did it myself!

You ARE the best.... AND the coolest, for sure!

And I did it myself!

And you did a lot of it

Wait just a minute..... NO ONE was around to help me!  NO ONE came forward at all!  This is MY accomplishment!

You had no help at all?

Are you saying I didn't do it myself?

No, but I do think you might reconsider the thought that no one helped you....

Who was there, then?  Besides you, of course....

Of course.

Well?  Okay then.. I appreciate your help - but you already know that.  I'm just feeling quite accomplished right now.

I know you are grateful to me.  You do tell me all the time.  I appreciate that about you.

So what then?  Who else helped me?

Well, let me ask you.... do you live alone?

What kind of question is that?  You know I don't live alone.  I live with a husband, two sons and a bunch of 4-legged creatures.  But they didn't help me.

Do you have any friends?

Of course I have friends.... both close friends and acquaintances.  But they didn't help with this either.  What are you getting at?

Do you have any close communities of people?

A few.... different groups that I am a member of.... but I am telling you... NO ONE came forward to help.

So here is the thing... what DO these people do for you?

For me?  Well, they accept me - many of them.. and some of them love me...  I guess several are appreciative of me and the things I do.  BUT NO ONE helped me.

Did anybody have to move their needs over so you could do this thing?

What do you mean?

Well, like your husband... you have certain things you do for him.... did you skip some of those so you could do your thing?  

Well... yes, twice I asked him to just get leftovers so I could work on this project.,.. but that is no biggie.  He doesn't mind.

And, if I remember correctly, he offered to fix you something too, didn't he?

Okay - but I didn't want what he offered... does that count?

And your kids.... didn't they do a little extra too... so you could work on this project?

Just a few errands - but they're supposed to help!

I know.  What about your friends?  Did you tell anyone about this project?

A few of them....

And were they supportive of your work?

Yes, of course they were... but I still did it by myself!  Are you saying I didn't?

I don't think I said that.

What are you saying?  That I don't deserve the credit?

I didn't say that either.

But I'm not all by myself then.... is that it?  So I did it myself.... but the real question is: would I have been ABLE to do it by myself without these people that are around me NOT DOING my project?

Exactly.

So now I'm ungrateful?  That's weird.

Is it?

No, not really.  I DO deserve the credit.... but I DO need to remember that YOU connected all of us.  Without YOU and without each other, none of us can accomplish anything.... is that it?

**smile**

You know, God, sometimes talking to you is hard.

You know, Katy, sometimes talking to you is hard too.

Just don't stop, okay?

Back at you.

Sharing

I was reading a bit the other day about how important it is to share your gifts.

And I get it.

I love to share.... and I love to give.

But I got to thinking about WHAT I am sharing.

I do like to do for others...

But am I cheerful about it?

In my day to day, am I kind and cheerful

Or is my norm a little more grumbling.....

or perhaps a bit martyred even....

I mean, shouldn't these people I am giving to

understand that I COULD be somewhere else...

reading, or crocheting, or doing something more important to ME?

I don't want to be selfish - but I get into such bad habits that I don't even realize sometimes that I am grumbling.

Dear God,
  Help me to be careful in the way I do things.  I do want to give.  But I want to share my talents and energy in a cheerful way.  What use is my gift if I begrudge it?

And, mundane though it is, doing laundry, preparing meals, cleaning up after animals and people..... well, those ARE my daily GIFTS..... not chores - GIFTS!

Please help me go about these tasks so that my family feels loved....

Help me share a positive viewpoint and good attitude!


Amen

Raindrops!

Stepping out into a fog-encased world this morning was a solitary experience

Not that I was alone... my pup was snuffling along beside me...

But the cotton batting surrounding us muffled other morning sounds

Except for raindrops....

Big fat raindrops

Plopping one by one

On me and around me

I thought of your blessings, Lord..

Falling on and around me

One by one

HEALTH.... plop!

FAMILY.... plop!

FRIENDS.... plop!

....and smaller ones that I take for granted....

Clothing.... plop!

Food... plop!

Internet... plop!

..and even more blessings fall that I don't take enough notice of...

random smiles.... plop!

budding flowers.... plop!

a stranger's miracle I am privileged to read about... plop!

Blessings and miracles all..... plop!

All around and on me in my quiet morning hour....

thank you, God!

Osprey

The other day

I watched an osprey.....

Battling the wind in the stormy weather

It was tossed back.... then straightened itself out

..and keep going...

Only to be whipped sideways... and thrown off kilter..

Righting itself again and regaining its course

Again and again.

But as I watched.... that magnificent creature never faltered.

It trusted in its wings, its instinct, its goal..

It never wavered..... it kept right on going!


Dear God.
            Help me trust!  I am not as fearless as your beautiful osprey.  I want to spread my wings.... and soar.... but I am weak on my own.  I want to be able to self-correct my course when life tosses me around a bit... but I am clueless without you.  I want to be able to fight back to keep flying where you want me to go.... but we both know I can't do it without you.  I know that you are always there for me.. but I am forgetful.   Please keep me mindful that YOU are that little lift that keeps my spirit strong!

Amen!

Child of the King!

As a child of God..... if I believe it... I am royalty.

No matter where I live....

No matter how I feel...

No matter what tasks lie before me.... whether it be leading troops into battle... or cleaning a toilet...

No matter what...

I am royalty.

And so are you....

Which means

We are setting examples...

that there is no room in our royal  lives

For whining and complaining....

For gossip and petty thoughts...

For unkindness or laziness..

Wow...



Dear God,
       After I ponder this thought for a while, I am also filled with self-doubt and denial.  Please strengthen me!  I know that I am your child..... but I don't often think about the royal duties that come with it.  I only know that by myself, I am inadequate to the task.  Please strengthen me!  I am responsible for helping to build your Kingdom...right here ....right now...   I am special.... but also filled with responsibility.  

Help me to remember - as I go about my day - all day - that I am Your child..... the child of a King....

Amen

Blessings!

Too many times we feel alone.

There are things happening in our lives that we don't understand.  AND we have to smile and be cheerful for our loved ones so THEY won't worry... even though we are sick inside.

It is you that I want to pray with this morning.

So.... take a minute and know that I see you.  I know you.... and I am sending a big hug to you.


Dear God,

     Please bless the person praying with me right now.  This is a strong, kind person who is carrying one of life's heavy burdens.  My friend and I both know that You are in control.... that You have a master plan.  We trust that You are working through us to bring good.. to help bring about your Kingdom... but, Lord,  my friend feels lost right now..... overwhelmed and alone.  And I want my friend to have the peace and faith that can only come from You.  Father, hold this child of yours in the palm of your hand and shelter her from her fears.  Give her the health and strength and grace to face the week ahead.  Help her know that You are right there beside her.  Please bless her family and friends and all those she is caring for.  Give her the peace she needs to hold firm and do your Will in her life.

Amen.

Half Loaf

The other day, I was talking with a woman who had been given a gift.

When I mentioned how thoughtful the giver was, she pursed her lips and told me how they wouldn't do something else.

The details aren't important.  The words were.

The words and facial expression said....

"What I was given was not enough (or right or whatever)"

I wondered if that was true.... if she really meant it.

The first thing that popped into my head was the old adage.... 'HALF LOAF is better than NONE."

Was she truly ungrateful or was she merely in the throes of a negative habit? 

I don't know.... but the effect was the same.

Her (probably unconscious) actions placed her (and me) in a negative place of ungratefulness.

How many times do I receive an offering from someone..... and I respond ungratefully?  I am not an ungrateful person..... I don't think.... am I?


Dear God,
           Please open my eyes and ears to the many gifts and blessings that I receive every day.  Open my heart by helping me SHARE your abundant grace by SHOWING my gratitude for what others (and YOU) give me.

Help me grow a grateful heart, Lord!

Pride

There are many reflections that almost didn't get published.

They aren't polished.

They are often 'off the cuff'.

Sometimes I get an idea.... and I want a scripture verse to go with it.  And I get this whole idea going on - the reflection is almost written.... and I can't find the verse I thought was there.  So I try to set it aside and wait for the verse.

Do you know what happens next?

No more ideas.

Nada.

Zilch.

Until I give up the idea of 'finishing it'.
Until I give up the idea of 'making it perfect'.
Until I get over MY PRIDE and let it go the way it is.

God works through my weaknesses.
God doesn't want me to wait.
God wants me to share his glory.

NOW.
However it turns out.... God is pleased.


Dear God
        ..... Help me get over myself.  Help me 'tune in to you' and drop my own personal agenda.  "Perfect" is not what you ask from us.  "Faith" and "Constancy" is what you cherish.  Help me remember that if you wanted us perfect - you would have created us that way.  It is the choice that I make.... every day.... to try to walk in your footsteps..... THAT CHOICE is what you ask for.  NO MATTER what it looks like.

Just me.

That's what you want.

Amen.

Make Your Dwelling Place in Me

I woke this morning with a plea swimming around in my head....

"Lord, make your dwelling place in my heart!"

And then, the next voice rising.....

"Why, oh why, would the Almighty choose to dwell in YOU?

In all your human brokenness, how could you POSSIBLY be a fit dwelling place for the Lord of Hosts?"

And then, thank you Lord.....

"I am a child of God.  Whatever I lack, God will provide."


A simple statement of faith rising from my half-zombie sleep state.  Wow.

As I shake my grogginess away, I think of my children.  I think of the love I bear them.  And I know that my God... my God of infinite love... loves much harder and stronger and, well.... just BETTER.... than I ever could.

I know that I would want my child to receive me.... no matter what.


Dear God,
        Help me today.  Help me keep you in the front of my mind....... help me remember not only to 'clean house' in my heart and be a fit dwelling place for you..... but to remember that I AM worthy.  You made me worthy.  You WANT me to WANT to receive you and keep you in my heart.

Me.

Just like I am.

Amen.

Praise!

I am reminded on this beautiful Spring morning of life and new growth!  We've had a mild winter.... seriously - there has been nothing to complain about here (though I have heard MUCH! :-)  ONE snow.... overnight before a holiday... and melted by the following evening..... easy-peasy.

But the next few weeks will be ones of major swings.... we will have bright sunny warm days... and we will have freezing rainy gray ones.  And during this unpredictable time, a new creation will emerge.... Spring will bring more new growth and beauty than we can imagine.

This period of time reminds us of God's way.  We do not always understand the ins and outs, the ups and downs of life.  We do not understand our losses.. any more than we understand our gains (we just like the gains better!).  But this is God's way.. there IS a master plan.  And the master plan has greater riches than we can imagine.

I want to offer praise to you, God!  Praise for allowing me to be part of an unfolding drama.  Praise for letting me see that many times... the only loss I really have.... is the loss of a dream... MY dream.  And I know - and I thank YOU for that knowing - YOUR plan for me is so much bigger than my own dream.

Thank you, God.  Thank you for blessing me.  Thank you for helping me see truth... the truth that YOU are in control and I am but a small piece of your plan ... thank you for helping me have peace with the things I CAN control.  Thank you for holding me in your hand and allowing me to play a part in this grand life! 

Penance

Penance......

depending on your personal background

Penance is a word

that conjures up powerful images

 ....medieval acts of self-torture

.....personal memories of a Catholic sacrament.... good memories or bad memories.... powerful, affective, emotional memories....


Emotions cloud truth.


Penance....

....is simple.

Strip away the bandaid of emotional response and reveal

   ...raw, red, pulsating remorse.

Penance

....is sorrow.

Sorrow for turning away from God.


Acts of penance reflect

 .....attempts to make amends

            .....turning toward the light.

Penance....

...is broken
               ...being made new.

Be repentant....

Be honest...

Have faith....  God is there...

Waiting for you to turn and be made whole.

God is there....

It was up to you to move away....

It is up to you to turn back...

God is there.